Stay positive

I'm trying to stay positive, and let go of anything that's negative. Yesterday I took advantage of a beautiful day and enjoyed the weather and the geography. I went to the Cape Cod Canal and rollerbladed--only four miles. I would like to build up how far I go. Then in the afternoon I got to the beach--late afternoon so a lot of people were packing up and leaving. It was gorgeous. I got in the water and played, the waves were rolling along, not that high, but still rolling. A couple of ambitious or optimistic people came with surfboards. It was beautiful. The birds, the smells, the sounds. I could live on the beach.

So I still don't have my rent money, but I have faith that I will have it soon (today or tomorrow?). I live quite near a statue called "Faith" for short. How appropriate.

Full moon, solstice, blimp

It's hard not to love these long days as we approach the Summer Solstice. And though I haven't actually seen the full moon (it's waning now I guess) it sure has a pull. The party people are out early in the week, instead of just waiting for Friday night to start celebrating. The weather has been awesome, I finally got a check yesterday. Life is good. And the Good Year Blimp flew over my house yesterday. What an odd contraption--I love the strings hanging down in front that they have to use when it lands. Is this a sign from Heaven? Or at least, Akron!

Breathe from the navel

I am struggling with financial anxiety again (still). I felt that old familiar feeling of depression again today...It's a physical feeling, like a tightness at the back of my throat. But today I read in one of the yoga books that if you breathe from your navel, you "will not be depressed." I never quite buy it, depression can be clinical and severe, but trying the breathing can't hurt. Deepening the breath by inhaling and really feeling the tummy and abdomen expand and then slowly exhaling all the air out definitely is calming.

It will all be okay...I want to believe!

Forging on

Since I started the job related blog I have ignored this breathe deep blog, but really anything I accomplish in finding work or prosperity (which can be measured in many different ways) is probably due to my yogic spiritual and wellness work. I am now doing three meditations daily: the Bound Lotus, Tratakum meditation, and a prosperity meditation.

The bound lotus challenges me physically and mentally. It's kind of a pretzel situation, even though I modify it because I physically can't do it as it's supposed to be done. It's still challenging and stretches me. I'm up to 26 minutes each day. The Tratakum meditation involves gazing at a photo of Yogi Bhajan, staring into his eyes, in darkness with candles the only light. I do this for 15 minutes. This is challenging in a whole other way. My mind goes Cuh-razy! It just wanders here and there, and then I come back to that stern look on the yogi's face (or is it playful and friendly? it definitely changes) and realize I haven't been letting go of ego. Finally I do a brief prosperity meditation, chanting "Har, har" repeatedly as my hands create a circle with the sides of the hands hitting at the top and bottom.

Physically, I'm feeling much better. I lost another pound, and I'm much more dedicated to going to the gym. My food choices are better, although still not great I'm sure. This all helps to bring in prosperity and to enable me to forge onward in my day to day life.